Connies Club
Relating the progress and lessons learned from an injured foal. Linking into the themes of metaphor, positivity, healing,the interconnection of science / technology with natural energies, synchronicity and even animal communication..... It's also just an inspiring story.
Monday, 25 February 2008
Saturday, 8 September 2007
At One with the World
Everyone is amazed at how friendly yet also how calm and at ease with life she is - no issues with distrusting humans after all the interactions she has had. It was the right decision for sure.
Friday, 24 August 2007
24/8/07 It's Party Time!
Luckily Sarah had warned us what would happen - Mouse slightly sedated, would eat, and connie would go around her in circles at increasing speed with a fair few bucks!!
Words are not really necessary!
Saturday, 18 August 2007
Why bother?
As this stage of Connie's story comes to a close, I can say that, along the way, a few people have asked me why I was bothering. The long term reality is that I am keeping this foal with a high possibility of not being able to ride her. A foal with a likely destiny as a broodmare does not make commercial sense, no matter how sweet she is or how tragic the story. After all, it costs as much to keep a crocked horse as a sound one. I could buy several youngsters for the price of this operation and her care to date.... Their logic seems impeccable.
For me at the point of decision all those weeks ago, it was simple : this little foal, that I had helped come into the world, seemed to want to live. My instinct was that the 'right thing' was to give it a chance, against the odds, carefully considering the potential suffering versus the possibility of living. And somehow I trust that if I do the right thing it will sort itself out in the long term. So far, Connie seems to have taken the opportunity, and that is enough.
But these questions have made me realise the whole issue of our relationship with nature, and how it is driven by money. The core belief seems to be - if it doesn't benefit us directly, why bother...? The complexity of the system, and our implicit interrelation with it, are too often ignored.
It made me think of a couple of quotes that capture this core issue in the whole sustainability agenda, more of which can be found at the end of the sustainable tactics website...
We abuse land because we regard it as a commodity belonging to us. When we see land as a community to which we belong, we may begin to use it with love and respect. Aldo Leopold, A Sand County Almanac
Only when the last tree is cut, only when the last river is polluted, only when the last fish is caught, will they realise that you can't eat money Native American proverb
Wednesday, 8 August 2007
7/8/07 Seeing the light...
So Connie is growing up, feeling good and ready to get out and face the world. Looking into the light....
I think Mouse has felt the brunt of her exuberance - a scar on her shoulder that could only have come from a nip of those baby teeth, and tenderness on her sides from a kick perhaps? Why are children so tough on their parents?!
Labels: foal, motherhood, Xray
30/7/07 Is compassion an instinct?
"..Tears - because I was thinking of how you felt, how brave Connie was still bouncing about in spite of it, and the relief of things apparently working against all odds, and the mixed feelings of courage and excitement in being the first to go ahead with this..."
It made me think about compassion, and as I was driving to the station early one morning - there was a perfect demonstration. In the middle of the country lane was a cluster of pigeons. They scattered as the car approached, leaving one, floundering in the middle of the road. I stopped, picked it up. The wings were fine, it seemed winded, as if hit on the breast bone by a car had temporarily affected its ability to fly. The others had come back to be with it... I moved it to a thick verge, a chance to recover (perhaps..)
But what I could not get out of my mind was the sight of the other pigeons there, the sense of community, caring, whatever words I use from the human experience, the reality could not be dismissed. They were there with, and for, their injured fellow pigeon... It was simply behaviour hardwired into their instinct rather then because they consciously 'should' be concerned for it. Do we care enough for others? Such questions and lessons from 'other-than-human beings' are all around us.
By synchronicity, I then found the following quote from dear Albert Einstein:
Horses seem to offer us many life lessons, with Connie they seem to have been packed into one intense series of emotional experiences! As her situation becomes less critical, I will develop this blog to acknowledge some of these wider learnings. Thanks for reading on..A human being is part of the whole, called by us 'universe,' a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings, as something separate from the rest -- a kind of optical delusion of consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.
Labels: consciousness, einstein, energy, other-than-human, synchronicity
Thursday, 26 July 2007
26/7/07 Yet another milestone...
Interestingly the vets still talk about her chances of 'survival' which feels quite negative, but it is a reflection of the tough job they have in their field where such decisions are being taken every day. It was lovely to see how pleased all the staff at Rossdale's were to see them again and I guess it is a refelction of the sense of hope that she brings with her having made such good progress so far.
Other than that it was broken I have not referred much to the injury, but my good friend and veterinary accupuncture specialist Sue Devereux (author of the best Veterinary book for Horse owners, just republished) described it as 'catastrophic' when she saw the original pictures - I can't quite bring myself to publish them here. But that gives an indication of quite how special this case is...
I found a quote by Marianne Williamson which feels relevant and ties in the importance of making the right decision for Connie all those weeks ago. I knew this little foal wanted its chance, now I am wondering whether in some way she will help others heal. Certainly her story seems to inspire people ...
"..The secret of success is to realize that the crisis on our planet is much larger than just deciding what to do with your own life, and if the system under which we live - the structure of western civilization - begins to collapse because of our selfishness and greed, then it will make no difference whether you have $1 million dollars when the crash comes or just $1.00. The only work that will ultimately bring any good to any of us is the work of contributing to the healing of the world..."
Labels: foal, healing, holistic, marianne williamson, Rossdales, sue devereux
Sunday, 22 July 2007
19/7/07 Little things make a BIG difference
I can only begin to appreciate the depth of their expertise. For instance Mouse & Connie are moved to different surfaces during the day that stimulate the new bone to form. The nutrition and stress levels of Mouse are considered - (she is coping very well). So, day by day, they are making all sorts of little adjustments to their care. It makes up a classic example of systems thinking and holistic management at its best.
When I look back and forward I can see it is a very long journey. The decision was made and now all its consequences are following through. So there is no point in wondering whether I did the right thing or not. However it is good to know that Connies' case, being so groundbreaking, will be part of a veterinary knowledge bank of how foals can heal from similiar injuries. Judging from the other responses I have had, this story is also acting as a trigger for dialogue about some of the broader topics I am introducing, such as positivity, synchronicity, and even complexity. So her story may also have a wider impact than I could ever predict...
For instance Jean Boulton wrote to remind me that one of the central themes in complexity thinking is that large-scale change starts with small, connected events. She added the following quote from William James :
Labels: complexity, foal, healing, holistic, sychronicity, systems thinking, vet
Friday, 13 July 2007
2/7/07 Don't make any plans...
I received the formal report of her treatment from Rossdale's which was interesting. She is such a resolute little foal, but knowing that there is so much wider learning coming from this and that it gives other foals hope in the future helps me know I made the right decision. It's still going to be a long journey.....
So I was asking Sarah about the likelihood of what will happen next, trying to plan when Connie and Mouse might come home. '..Don't make any plans..' she said 'one day at a time, because the course and duration may change.....' The wisdom took me straight back to a workshop I had attended with Dr Jean Boulton an amazing Complexity Consultant with a PhD in Quantum Physics. She now focuses on the issues of getting organisations to manage sustainably in these times of increasing complexity and chaos. The key message I took is that it is ok to have plans and a big picture, but also that it is important to let go of trying to manage it. We need to be fully responsive to what is happening in the here and now in order to move towards creating the end result. And of course there is never an end...
Applying this, we all share the big picture of mare and foal safe and sound out at grass. Only when the next xray is taken we can decide when the next operation will be. When the operation is over we may guess at how long it could take to heal... then we can see how comfortable Connie is, and based on that, then consider if the ground is suitable for them to go out safely etc etc. What we should not do in any complex situation is start to over plan - that cuts down our responsiveness to what is actually happening in the here and now. I wonder if this reminder is as helpful to you in any area of your life as it has been to me...?! Comments welcome!
25/6/07 Time to reflect
We were given the all clear to move her and Mouse just 10 miles down the road to a specialist mare and foal unit in Newmarket run by Sarah. It’s nerve-racking to transport such a delicate load when the vet keeps reminding you that it is an unstable fracture and could still collapse at any time. Charlie – what a wonderful friend - came with me and drove them in the trailer. Connie was good to load (well – she was virtually carried in !) and travelled quietly with Mouse.
In fact the surgeon - Andy Bathe - actually told Sarah that he was now ‘very bullish’ about her chances…that’s more positive than he is with me!! Every day achieved is good news towards increasing it from the current 60:40. As well as realising how obsessive I have been over these last few weeks (!) I have begun to think more widely around the lessons learned. More of which shortly.
Again many thanks for all your interest and support – keep willing her to heal well, for I am sure that this positive energy is a key part of her recovery, supporting the incredible veterinary care she has had. It really makes me wonder how science and positivity, or 'consciousness' could work together more easily rather than at variance as they seem to be.. Last year I had the experience of 'seeing with new eyes' as I watched new lenses being put into my eyes during two cataract operations. That made me feel just as humble as this, now I know there is a place for both mindsets to acknowledge each other. The question is how....
16/6/07 So Scary...
Scarily she manages to get a remarkable amount of speed up in the stable and has already perfected canter pirouette and is now practicing courbettes which are little rears followed by a leap in the air. No wonder the surgeon doesn’t like to watch, for this is where all his work and our prayers could be unravelled.... Mouse is a bit more fed up, so we need them both to be fit to move at the end of next week to the specialist stud in Newmarket which should be a bit more appropriate for her.
13/6/07 Another Milestone
So this week is the next big milestone – today she was put into a 'soft cast' so there is more load on the leg, which is necessary to encourage the new bone to grow. Also the hard cast would tend to rub and cause pressure. However it means that the whole bone is vulnerable as it will not have hardened much, so it could fall apart – almost literally as she puts weight through the operation site. (apologies for the poor scientific content here folks!)
Presuming all goes well she will then move to a specialist foal care unit with Mouse with my old university friend and vet Sarah Stoneham, until the leg is healed well enough for the plate to be removed – it saves her travelling up & down from Sussex again. Your thoughts, prayers, good wishes - whatever, so long as it is positive - for Mouse and Connie are most important of all now, so thank you in anticipation of her getting stronger and stronger from them…..
Labels: energy, fate, foal, healing, horse, injury, luck, sychronicity, vet
31/5/07 Surrounded by Healing Energy
Connie was X Rayed today and there is some movement of the bone against the plate. It’s now a question of how the young bone stabilises and strengthens around the plate & screws. Because foals grow so rapidly, a frequent change of the cast is necessary, otherwise significant sores could develop. The next is due on Sunday. And of course each intervention requires that both mare and foal are well sedated. Luckily Connie has got into a routine of immediately seeking milk as she comes round...
Labels: coates, complexity, energy, fate, foal, healing, holistic, homeopathy, horse, injury, luck, nick thompson, sheldrake, sychronicity, systems thinking, vet
28/5/07 Why?
The morning after the birth the foal’s near foreleg looked odd, we called the vet, decided to Xray, drove them to the surgery, and we were all gutted to see it was a badly fractured pastern bone. Possibly an unfortunate tread by Mouse, although there was no external evidence....
Despite the odds being loaded against a full recovery I decided I have to give her a chance. On Sunday we drove them (in the pouring rain) to Rossdales at Newmarket where little ‘Connie’, at less than 2 days old, underwent 2 hours of surgery to plate and screw the bone together. The operation by Andy Bathe went well, and she is up and feeding well, ‘comfortable’, standing evenly on both legs, but we have the risk of infection or collapse when the cast comes off etc. The odds are 60% against her surviving this stage, and about 10% for being sound enough to be rideable long term... no wonder other foals in this situation are simply put down.
Already she seems to be a tough little thing - and she needs to be. They stay at Newmarket for 3 – 4 weeks, so please add them to your prayers & blessings.
As a postscript, it is maybe helpful to add at this point that this little horse was always bred with the intention that she would stay with me for life, a friend whether she competes, is rideable or whatever, a mother if it feels right in time. She is Oskar’s aunt and Mouse's foal - her connection to earth... There are some fun stories about how Mouse let us know she wanted a foal and chose the stallion.... And since she conceived first time against the odds... with frozen semen from a stallion who died the week previously, perhap these stories need adding. However, in summary, this little foal is special to me and has a home for life.
Labels: complexity, energy, fate, foal, healing, horse, injury, luck, sychronicity, systems thinking, vet
25 May at 11.35pm...
Everything looked so perfect. Mouse was quite transformed and so good with her foal. Not a muscle moving as the foal fumbled around trying to sort out standing and then feeding.